FX: Rustling around in the cage
Eeek: Where are those things? They’ve got to be here somewhere.
Squeak: What are you looking for Eeek?
Eeek: Oh, I was just looking for my Christmas lists.
Squeak: Lists? You have two lists?
Eeek: What, are you crazy? Of course I do: the list of what I want and the list of what I’m going to get my relatives.
Squeak: Hey, I think I’ve seen the list for your relatives…Is it this piece of paper under the refrigerator?
Eeek: Hey, I thought I looked under there already. Thanks, Squeak. I’ve got to get to work. Hey, wait a minute, there’s my other list…over there on our fork lift.
Squeak: That’s your Christmas wish list?!!!
Eeek: You bet ya. ‘Been working on this baby all year. Let me just put it up on the table here.
FX: Heavy thudding
Squeak: So that’s what that thing is. I thought you were working for the Census Bureau.
Eeek: Get out of town. No way. This is just the first volume of my wish list for Santa. This is just A through P.
Squeak: How about your list here for your relatives? Let’s see, it says here…for Aunt Mousey you are going to make a picture out of Popsicle sticks and glue.
Eeek: Yeah, I better get going on that. We got any Popsicles in the fridge?
Squeak: No, I don’t think so. Hey, what’s on your list?
Eeek: Now, I’m glad you asked…let’s see here. (FX: Turning the pages of a book) Let’s just start with the stocking stuffers…Yeah, here’s one. A Lincoln Town Car, dark blue…with a wet bar.
Squeak: You want a Lincoln town car! You’re a mouse! You can’t even drive!
Eeek: Wait just a minute, read right here, under Lincoln Town Car, what does it say?
Squeak: It says, "One pair of mouse-size dry wall stilts." What in the heck?
Eeek: That’s right. Get it? I just strap on those dry wall stilts, sit up on a stack of phone books…
Squeak: Or a copy of your Christmas list…
Eeek: Exactly, then I’m good to go…a mouse on the road. Riding in style…no Subaru for this Rodent…Lincoln Town Car, Cleopatra’s Barge on rubber…
Squeak: Brother! It says here you’re going to get your grandfather a hand made pair of ear warmers.
Eeek: Darn right. And I’ve already got them made Mr. Smarty-Pants. They’re right around here somewhere…Here look, Mr. "Holier than Mouse" my grandpa’s gift already to wrap.
Squeak: Those are used tea bags out of the garbage!
Eeek: AND a great little gift idea, if I don’t mind saying! See the old Duffer can just take these bags like this…Look…they come with some handy paper clips, put them on, put clips here and here. Voila: Ear Warmers!!
Squeak: Eeek, have you no shame?
Eeek: No, but I think it’s on the list here somewhere…let’s see.
Squeak: Eeek, Christmas is a time to take joy in giving.
Eeek: So you think asking for my own private island in French Polynesia is going too far?
Squeak: Oh, Eeek. Can’t you think of anything else to say for yourself?
Eeek: Well Marlon Brando has one! Oh never mind,…let me look on my list. There’s something else here. It’s got to be here somewhere. Yeah, here it is. It says…Hey, you kids, whatever you’re doing cut it out! It’s time for GENUINE MOUSE RADIO!!!
Kids call in and we workshop their gift ideas. They call in asking for advice on what to get people and we ask them what they want.