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Home  >  Peer Work
Snow Queen
By Mary Hennessey
Genre: Fiction
Category: Student Examples

Mary Hennessey's maskOnce long ago, in a cave in the mountain of Mt. McKinley, there lived a king, a snow king. He was old, and couldn't even get up without help. The king's name was King Frost. He thought it was time to go off his throne and to the sky. So he called his servant.

"Dear servant, I have been king since I was ten, and I think it is time to...." The king was cut off by his servant.

"Oh please no! You can't go, because if you do I will serve no one!" blurted the servant.

"I have to and you will serve them!" thundered the king, "Now go get my mirror so I can see who is next."

"Yes, your majesty," sobbed the servant.

Once the mirror was in front of the King it started to whirl around. Finally it stopped showing a girl in school talking to her friends. "A girl! In all my life there has never been a girl!" retorted the servant.

"Well we better get on with it, let's start when she's snowboarding with her friends," sighed the King. The servant was in shock, but began preparing for the new queen muttering to herself.

The girl that was about to become queen didn't know about it. Her name was October, the month when it began to snow.

RIINNGG! The bell rang. She got up and gathered her stuff and met her friends outside. They went on a bus going to a mountain called Alyeska, that was out of Anchorage .

Once they got there they were ready for the slopes. They got their tickets and immediately went to the chair lift. It took a while to get to the top of the mountain, but it was worth it. Once at the top they got hooked up with their snowboards.

"Beat ya to the bottom!" said one of her friends.

"Not if I can help it!" cried October over the other talk and noise. They raced down the hill dodging branches and people, taking short cuts and any other ways possible to win.

Once October got in the lead, a guy cut her off on a different trail on accident.

October was a little freaked, for she was lost and didn't know this path. She slowed down so she could unhook herself from her snowboard and climb back up.

All of a sudden a whirl of snow surrounded her with sparkles, sleet, and icicles. She tried to scream, but couldn't. The little pieces of sparkles all swam to her cheeks and made the design of a swirl. Then they came together in one big snowflake. The icicles turned into coiled springs and went upon her head along with the big snowflakes. And last the sleet whirled around her hair turning it silver.

Finally October could scream but not loud enough to beat the screech of the storm around her. The whirl started to turn into a hole, a big hole. The hole swept under October's feet. The screeching stopped and she stopped screaming and looked around. Then she jerked down like someone was pulling her under and she started screaming again.

Bump! She fell into a room that was decorated with crystal and gold. She was standing in front of an entryway.

"Come in and sit down," said a voice.

October jumped, "Who are you?" asked October.

"I am your servant and you are the Snow Queen," replied the servant.

"Come and sit down, I've already taken care of your friends and parents, but we've got things to do," explained the servant.

"Oh, I remember you in my dreams!" exclaimed October. "So I am the Snow Queen!" October went to sit down while the servant explained the things they needed to do. You would think she was listening with intense concentration, but she was really jumping and shouting with joy, for she was the Snow Queen. Now that is why it snows every year on time unless she has a cold.

The End!

Edited for punctuation.


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