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What It Means to Be a Fat Girl
By Sharadon O'Connor
Genre: Poetry Level: High School 10-12
Category: UAA/ADN Creative Writing Contest

Being a fat girl means

That I am given new names that I haven't asked for

Curvy, thick, chunky, big

I am supposed to take these words, these names for myself

Supposed to swallow them like cough syrup

Thick and bitter in my throat

I am supposed to be grateful

Grateful that skinny people have found another way to forget that we exist

Fat is a word we want to forget

The very word is cursed

Used only for describing cattle and livestock

They think us no better than pigs

 

Being a fat girl means that I have to work for boys' attention

And I have to work hard

Harder than anybody

And still

They must be bigger than me

Boys who don't care that my stomach can hold oceans

Because theirs can too

The don't care that my thighs are tree trunks

They climb them with grace

Boys who like me

Hate themselves

The have lower self esteem then me

I find boys who know that difference between love and sex

Boys who will settle

 

Being a fat girl means overcompensating

Because people will never like me once they see me

First impressions fail me

People only see protruding stomachs and laziness

My eyes could be as blue as the sky

And my skin as dark as olives

But my body will never be enough

I must be the smartest

The funniest

Anything but fat

 

Being a fat girl means constantly being under fire

"I totally like, hate those overly confident fat girls"

Who else but us will be happy for fat girls?

Call us cute?

Care for us?

Love us?

"Why doesn't she just like herself?"

Because we never are allowed to

 

Lastly, being a fat girl means that I must find solace

In fat arms

In fat stomachs

In fat faces of other fat girls

They show me that we are worthwhile

That fat girls matter

 

 

 

THE END


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