My name's Giraffe Boy. Actually, it's Steve. Steve Womey. I am 11 and have a giraffe body. I am 26 feet tall, 11 inches. I used to go to J.S. Emin Middle School. Now I go to R.U.A. Monkey Middle School. My best friend is Georgie the Sloth.
CHAPTER 1: WHAT SCHOOL?
'What school?" I said to my parents as we packed to move to Africa. (Oh yeah, I was still a human then.) My parents said I was going to R.U.A. Monkey Middle School when we got there. "Son," my dad said, "it's a normal school. Just like J.S. Emin." "I don't know," I said. "It sounds like an animal school to me."
CHAPTER 2: GEORGIE
When we got there I was right: R.U.A. Monkey was an animal school. I told my dad. He said it might just be pet day. But the day before was just pet day. The students brought their pets -- humans. I met one nice animal. Georgie the Sloth.
Chapter 3: Ms. Zimph's Office
"Steve Womey, please come to the nurse's office," the intercom buzzed at me. I started walking to the nurse.
When I got there, Ms. Zimph, our nurse said, "Here, take this. It'll help you adjust to the animal smell around here." I took it and turned into a giraffe. "Uh-oh," said Ms. Zimph. "Better change the formula!" "Ugh!" I said.
CHAPTER 4: GIRAFFE NECK
I had a giraffe neck.
It was 18 feet tall and spotted brown.
Everyone thought I was just one of the other animals.
Suddenly, I had a craving for leaves. I went out to a tree and ate.
After I was a giraffe for a few hours, the school bullies were teasing me because of my unusually long neck. I was Giraffe Neck.
CHAPTER 5: WHAT KIND OF CLASSES ARE THESE?
My first periods were normal. Science, math, lunch. When I started fourth period, it started to get weird.
I went to a class called B.A.M.B.O.O. and made a bunch of bamboo stuff. My favorite was bamboo sandwiches.
Fifth period, I went to a class called B-Hall. Every day we studied The Hall of Bananas. By sixth period, all the bus students had to go to the class called "Bus Precaution." We needed to put on oxygen tanks and armor to survive.
CHAPTER 6: ON THE BUS
The bus is scary. It has mean animals like lions, sharks, cobras and other deadly creatures. I got a spitball from a leopard named Jacques Furious-Leopard. I usually jump out of the bus. Armor and all.
CHAPTER 7: BACK AT HOME
When I got home, my parents tried to chase me out. But then they heard my voice come out of my mouth, and my mom said, "Why are you a giraffe?" "I got medicine from the nurse. By accident, she gave me the giraffe one," I explained.
"Dad will make you a big tent by a tree with very good leaves. I'll turn your room into a pottery room." (Mom was obsessed with pottery then.)
CHAPTER 8: GEORGIE'S ROOM
On April 28, Georgie invited me over. His house was in a mini jungle. Georgie lives about five blocks from my house.
I saw about 12 trees and 508 vines. That's only in his room. Georgie's parents' room was huge! It had more like 2003 vines, 501 bananas and 21 trees.
Georgie led me to the living room so we could swing on some very tall vines. Georgie was about an inch up a vine when he fell asleep.
CHAPTER 9: WHEN ALFRED COMES OVER
One day, Georgie wanted to come to my house with a friend. Georgie brought a friend all right. A HUGE gorilla! "Georgie," I said, "I thought you were bringing a much smaller friend." "You said I could bring a friend, so I brought a friend," he said. "ME ULFRED," Alfred said. "He's 13," Georgie said with a yawn. "Come to my tent," I said. "It's much bigger." Alfred, Georgie and I went to my room and read comics.
CHAPTER 10: MS. GRUBBINGLOAF
Ms. Grubbingloaf taught lunch period. She shows animals how to slop old stew onto paper plates. (I usually pack my lunch.) All the animals love it. They say it tastes like candy. I tried it once. It tasted like roadkill that a witch put in a pot full of gravel, slime and beef. Not that I've tried any of that, except beef. Georgie and I have a big difference in taste.
Ms. Grubbingloaf isn't mean, but her food sure is. Almost every time I come by she says something like, "Steve, you've got the best manners here. The other animals have manners like a pit bull." Or, "The animals always spit at least half of their food into the trash pig."
CHAPTER 11: GYM
"Steve Womey, Jeremy Lizerbreath, Nerf Craz E. Ape, Ingrid Monkey-Lagues and Nurse Zimph, please come to the football field!" Coach Froggums yelled through the intercom speaker.
"Steve!" Crazy Mr. Siense yelled as I flew out of that boring class.
"Womey, Lizerbreth, Craz E. Ape, Monkey-Lagues, you're going to be participating in our 41st annual Athlete-A-Thon. Nurse Zimph, if anyone gets hurt, that's why you're here."
This was even worse than having to go to science class! I wish I was slower walking out of science.
"Monkey-Lagues, Lizerbreath, you do 2 million sit-ups," Froggums yelled. Craz E. Ape and Womey, you do pull-ups until 3 p.m. Nurse Zimph, you take the hurt ones.
Now GET TO WORK!!" he yelled into the megaphone attached to the intercom with surround-sound speakers on full blast. Nerf Craz E. Ape's ears fell off. "ZIMPH, TAKE CRAZ E. APE AWAY!" Froggums yelled. I had no gym partner.
CHAPTER 12: YOWZA!
"Yowza!" I said as I did my 400th pull-up. It was 2:59:59, so Froggums made me do five more in one second. I came home with aching shoe-sized muscles. My mom freaked out when I got home. All that happened was that my muscles were huge.
I fell asleep eating dinner because my arms ached and I had to walk home because I missed the bus.
I woke up. "Youch!" I hit my head on a sharp thorn branch. I got up and went into my parents' room and tapped on my mom's face. "Wazzuh?" my mom said tiredly. "It's the middle of the night." "I got thorns in my head," I said. "Go to sleep," she said.
I went into the bathroom, pulled out the thorns with a tweezer, put Band-Aids on my head and went back to sleep.
CHAPTER 13: THE ATHLETE-A-THON
I went to the gym the next day and lifted weights 800 times. After that Froggums made everybody climb onto basketball hoops and watch him talk.
"KIDS AND NURSE," Froggums yelled, "YOU WILL BE IN THE ATHLETE-A-THON IN HALF A MONTH. NURSE, TO REMIND YOU ONCE MORE, IF ANYTHING GETS HURT BRING THEM TO YOUR OFFICE."
The day of the Athlete-A-Thon was pretty cool. I got to skip school to get on a bus for 20 minutes. I sat alone and looked out the window.
When we got there, Jeremy asked what was on Nerf's ears.
"The things are replacement ears," said Ms. Zimph.
We got to the first race.
"Ready, set, GO!" said a baboon with a foghorn.
Ingrid ran the track twice, then Jeremy, then me, then finally Nerf. Nerf didn't hear the foghorn so Froggums pushed him ahead. I think he was startled at first, but then he started running like the wind.
"The winner is Nerf Craz E. Ape!" the baboon said." Hooray!" we all shouted joyfully.
CHAPTER 14: ATHLETE-A-THON FINALS
One week after the Athlete-A-Thon, we boarded a bus for one hour and went to the Africa Tournaments.
This time I was first. I ran track twice and did 50 pull-ups, jumped over some bars and slapped Ingrid's hand.
It went on and on until Jeremy slapped the referee and won by one second. We each got a $100 prize and a trip to a water park.
CHAPTER 15: THE END?
Just after I had gotten my $100, Ms. Zimph burst in. "Steve, take this medicine. It'll turn you back into a human. I took it and ...
I turned into a Koala. Uh-oh.
To be continued ...